Welcome to Ego-Bashing Day

News

No, not Ego Draconis. That continues to be fun, despite our encounter with a quest-killing bug. What we’re talking about is my ego.

Okay, so the trailers I put up yesterday got zero response. That sucks, but at least I can tell myself that it’s because I’ve released them before, and readers of this website may well have already seen them. Plus, while atmospheric, they don’t really say much about the film in question, so maybe people just want to wait until they’ve seen the finished product. Fine.

ArroganceBut then, in a moment of narcissism, I had a look at my Wikipedia page, and saw it has been flagged for notability. Granted, it’s missing some sources and stuff, but… come on. Am I a world-famous game designer? No. I’m not even a famous indie game designer. But even without a particularly huge ego I can assert that my games are fairly unique and have a dedicated, if small, audience. I may not be notable as a person, but at least my damn work is. It’s not perfect or famous, but it’s got its own voice, it has had some critical success (“one of the master story-tellers in indie game development,” damn it!), and it has affected enough people strongly enough to deserve some kind of basic recognition. Call me arrogant, but I honestly believe that.

I do occasionally contribute a little to the Wikipedia, but I don’t particularly feel like editing my own Wikipedia entry, except to correct gross errors. So, if someone would be so nice as to add some sources to the article, I would greatly appreciate it. (Remember to keep to a neutral tone. Well-meant but too emotional fan edits is what got Helen Trevillion‘s original entry deleted.)

Here are some sources you could use:

Am I overreacting? Are these the tremors of an overinflated, self-worshipping personality finally faced with its own unimportance in the grand scheme of short Wikipedia entries? Is this the howling madness of uncontrolled narcissism exploding into a fishing-for-compliments frenzy? I certainly hope not.

But if you have any experience with publishing your work, I’m sure you can imagine that it’s quite demoralizing. I’ve been making games for something like 8 to 9 years now, and I’d like to think that despite the lack of huge success (except, perhaps, in the case of Last Rose, ironically the least of my games) I have still created a body of work that is original and, at least to some, meaningful. And that, like the positive reviews, is something that I am proud of. It doesn’t make me a better person, but that’s not the point – this is like being proud of your children, not of yourself.

And now let’s see what else Ego-Bashing Day will come up with.

Honeymoon in Samana

News

Verena has written a very nice post about our honeymoon. If I ever find the time, I’ll also write one – more of a travel narrative of sorts – but that’ll have to wait a while. For now, read what my wife wrote. As always, her writing is excellent and funny and deserves to be read.

The Great Machine: A Nighmare trailers

Film / Projects

As part of the process of finishing and then publicising The Great Machine: A Nightmare, I’ve re-uploaded the two trailers I’d previously released to YouTube. Some of you may have seen these before, but probably not many. I hope they manage to show that despite its severe technical limitations (due to the fact that is was shot on a 0$ budget and edited with primitive software), it is quite atmospheric.

If you think the film looks interesting, comments and ratings will be greatly appreciated. More to come (barring the usual disasters).

I Have A Nightmare

Thoughts

Martin Luther KingForty-six years ago today, Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his famous “I Have a Dream” speech. It remains his most famous speech, and the most famous part of the March on Washington – or, as Malcolm X called it, the Farce on Washington.

“I Have A Dream” is the cliché that people immediately remember when they think of Martin Luther King. They forget his profound disapproval of the capitalist system, his opposition to war, his fight against poverty, or the way he was vilified by the press for suggesting that nonviolence was not only necessary for black people, but for the whole world. They forget that only a few years later, he would be saying this:

In 1963… in Washington, D.C., … I tried to talk to the nation about a dream that I had had, and I must confess… that not long after talking about that dream, I started seeing it turn into a nightmare.

[…]

I watched that dream turn into a nightmare as I moved through the ghettos of the nation and saw black brothers and sisters perishing on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity, and saw the nation doing nothing to grapple with the Negroes’ problem of poverty.

[…]

I saw the dream turn into a nightmare as I watched the war in Vietnam escalating… Yes, I am personally the victim of deferred dreams, of blasted hopes.

And so I prefer to remember this great man by the words that are much closer to what he believed, to what he fought for, in the years in which his wisdom and understanding had reached the highest point they were allowed, before those who feared him made sure to remove his influence.

We’ve got to begin to ask questions about the whole society. We are called upon to help the discouraged beggars in life’s market place. But one day we must come to see that an edifice which producers beggars needs restructuring. It means that questions must be raised. “Who owns the oil?“… “Who owns the iron ore?“ … “Why is it that people have to pay water bills in a world that is two-thirds water?

And as a reminder that true Christians have walked this Earth, and that the degenerate hatemongers who call for war against the enemies of Christ are not everything that Christianity has ever produced:

Don’t let anybody make you think God chose America as his divine messianic force to be a sort of policeman of the whole world. God has a way of standing before the nations with justice and it seems I can hear God saying to America “you are too arrogant, and if you don’t change your ways, I will rise up and break the backbone of your power, and I will place it in the hands of a nation that doesn’t even know my name. Be still and know that I’m God. Men will beat their swords into plowshafts and their spears into pruning hooks, and nations shall not rise up against nations, neither shall they study war anymore.” I don’t know about you, I ain’t going to study war anymore.

President Obama likes to talk about change, but this is what change means:

I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a “thing-oriented” society to a “person-oriented” society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.

And finally, as President Obama continues the butchery in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan, and the liberal press continues to have orgasms over the fact that a black man is president, perhaps people should remember these words:

This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation’s homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into veins of peoples normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psychologically deranged, cannot be reconciled with wisdom, justice and love.

Amen, Dr. King. I hope one day the people of this planet will finally understand what you were talking about, and put an end to the immoral and illogical madness of our political and economic system and the misery and hatred that it produces.

That is a dream worth fighting for.

Back in Germany.

News

After a very, very long trip of about 17 hours (5 hours on the bus, 3 at the airport, 9 in the plane) we are back in Germany. Updates will resume tomorrow. Much cool stuff awaits you.

Update

News

As Verena wrote:

Lots of very cool things to post, but no way of posting them, since the USB stick has gone the way of all earthly things.

Expect more on Wednesday.

Also, both the computers and the connection here are utter and total crap: slow, half-broken, virus-infested crap. I can’t believe I’m looking forward to Germany, but in some ways I am. Ah, working toilets. And computers.

Humidity: 100%

Thoughts

Greece, which is where I grew up, gets a hell of a lot hotter than the Dominican Republic – mainly because it’s so much like a desert. But there is one profound difference which really makes Greece a lot more pleasant in terms of the weather: when you go to the shade, the temperature actually drops. But in the Dominican Republic, the only way of avoiding the heat is air conditioning. Hell, even jumping into the sea feels like swimming in soup water.

Sure, it’s a million times better than Germany. But I guess sometimes you have to come halfway across the world to realize that Some Like It Mediterranean.

Also, why do so few people understand how to properly cook fish?

Cell (quick review)

Writing

Cell is a recent-ish novel by Stephen King, in which cellphones cause people to go mad, and pretty quickly cause the downfall of human civilization. It is dedicated to George Romero and Richard Matheson, and that’s what it reads like: somewhere between scary, hilarious and thoughtful. It asks interesting questions about human behaviour and morality and is both exciting and well-written. It’s not as awe-inspiring and deep as Duma Key, but it’s a good book, and worth reading.

Star Maker (halfway)

Writing

I’m currently halfway through Star Maker by Olaf Stapledon. If the other half of this book is as fascinating and deep as the first half, this book will be added to my list of Books Everyone Should Read.

Not a page has gone by that hasn’t impressed me. I think I shall have to read more by this fellow.