In which there is a screenshot from testing

Progress on the new version of Phenomenon 32 is surprisingly fast, despite the occasional crash. I’ve already implemented several types of terrain, enemies, things to collect, a simple attack, anomalies, and hit points. And I like the minimalist look – it really does have something eerie.

And it reminds me of Metroid II, which is still one of my favourite games of all time.

Verena is currently out, buying a wedding dress with her mother. I miss her, but at least I’m working. The cat is sitting on the armchair and cleaning her paws. Zathras is sunning himself, while Zathras is swimming. Next up: the main menu and the map.

Constructive

My experiments with Construct have proven most… constructive. It looks like Phenomenon 32 will be split up into two different games after all.

This is good news. Trust me. I wanted this very badly. The story wanted it very badly. It means sacrificing a few nice touches, and many hours of work, but this way I can do the story more justice. And I can make a game that is really, really different from what I’ve been doing so far.

So, get ready for Phenomenon 32, a minimalistic exploration/platforming horror game by yours truly.

Heroism at Command

“War is a quarrel between two thieves too cowardly to fight their own battle; therefore they take boys from one village and another village, stick them into uniforms, equip them with guns, and let them loose like wild beasts against each other.” – Thomas Carlyle

Today is Memorial Day in the United States, and the internet always becomes slightly bizarre on this day, revealing one of the most problematic aspects of American intellectual discourse: the idea of supporting the troops. Everyone has to support the troops, and any criticism of militarism is criticism of the troops, and therefore unpatriotic.

Note that I said militarism, not military policy. Militarism as in the cultural centrality and deification of the military and military service. Even a liberal geek like Wil Wheaton has to post about how “their action and sacrifice will always be remembered.” The irony of the gravestone saying “Unknown U.S. Soldier” is quite tragic – the “action” and “sacrifice” will be remembered, but whoever this was, whatever his dreams and ambitions, his body was mangled by some other human shooting him or otherwise killing him. His family never got to see his face again. The body that once housed a living being full of potential for understanding, for change and growth, for love and fun and sex and sadness and bad jokes, was transformed into a disfigured piece of meat.

And why was that person out there? What was he (or she) fighting for? Liberty and democracy? Or natural resources and the strategic interests of the hegemonic few? People have died for both, and it’s not the same. And how can people so easily talk about honourable sacrifice when what they’re talking about is people losing their lives so that a few rich people can get even richer? Is it the same to honour the soldiers who fell in the Civil War or the American Revolution as it is to honour those who fell in Iraq?

There are those who disagree with the various administrations, but say that they support the fight of the troops for democracy. But if you disagree with the invasion and occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan, why are you doing so? Because you’d rather be bombing the Pakistanis, or because you think that invading Iraq has got nothing to do with democracy? But if so, you have to understand that the people fighting in Iraq are not and will never be fighting for democracy. What they are fighting for is the control of business entities over governmental policies – a political situation otherwise known as fascism.

That’s not to say that the troops are all fascists. But the function they are fulfilling is to occupy and loot less powerful countries against international law and any and all conceptions of justice and democratic behaviour. There is nothing honourable about this. Many of them are certainly honourable people who mean well. But they are honourable people that are fighting for a profoundly unhonourable goal. A great many good people fought for the German side in World War II, continuing against all the odds and supporting their comrades. But that does not mean that I can “honour their sacrifice.” I can feel compassion. I can feel pity. I can feel a great deal of anger at the people who caused them to be there. But I can’t honour a crime against humanity.

And it goes further. As I said, a big problem is the worship of military service. But even if there are many good people in the military, and many of them are there because they mean to do good, can’t we hold on for a second and question this idea that having people whose job it is to kill others is maybe not such a great thing? And that there is something quite disturbing about those who make it the point of their lives to kill in the name of their government? Taking a life is not a small thing. Taking lives professionally is not a small thing either. For someone to want to do this… I find that highly questionable. And I’m fine with you disagreeing with what I say. But if everyone just salutes the flag, even when that flag is a symbol of death, bereavement and oppression for literally millions of people around the world, then we’re heading even deeper into fascist territory.

What about all the people struggling to support their families or themselves? What about the miners, working in conditions as horrid as those of a war? What about construction workers? What about people working three jobs to feed their children? Why glorify those who choose to kill others for a living?

And what about the people who are only there because they need the money? They don’t really want to kill anyone. They don’t want to fight for anything, either. They just want to go to college. When we throw them into the big pot of “died heroically for his country,” we’re basically justifying what is nothing more than murder by economic pressure.

Being shot by an enemy soldier in a country you don’t belong in isn’t sacrifice. It’s just death.

There are soldiers out there who are wonderful, honourable individuals who truly believe in what they are doing. There are soldiers who are out there because they don’t have any choice. And there are soldiers out there who believe in what they are doing even when that is butchering civilians and torturing people for having the wrong skin colour or the wrong God. And all of them are serving the purposes of the rich and powerful by attacking and oppressing countries far away.

We should mourn those lost fighting these wars, just as we should mourn those who opposed them. We should mourn them as victims, and we should mourn their victims. Because for every dead American (or European) soldier there are thousands of dead Iraqis, Afghanistanis, Pakistanis, Somalis, Vietnamese, Serbians, Croatians, and so on. Most of whom died defending their countries, whether they wanted to or not.

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilisation should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.” – Albert Einstein

Why do we need to support the troops when their mission is an immoral one? When we say we will never forget their actions, shouldn’t that include the shooting of children? The torture of innocents? The bombing of civilians? And even when those killed were truly enemy soldiers – what is there to honour in the killing of human beings, no matter which side they are on? We have to question the fundamentals, not just the surface.

None of the people in these graves wanted to die. Many of them did not wish to be soldiers in the first place, and we have to question the motives of those who did. By perpetuating this myth of sacrifice, we are helping to perpetuate war.

Instead of supporting the troops, let us instead support humanity, which happens to be on both sides of this conflict, and perhaps realize that paying people to kill others cannot be a good thing – neither for the victims, nor for the killers. If you really want to support your troops, how about letting them live lives that do not include killing and being killed?

For those who want to fight for their people in the field of action, who want to experience danger in the pursuit of a worthy goal, there is always the fire department. Now that is true bravery – to save others by facing not other human beings, but the destructive forces of nature itself. To die saving others – that is something I can truly honour.

Twitter

I signed up for Twitter.

My main motivation is to annoy my friend Julian, who hates Twitter. But I’m also genuinely curious as to whether it makes any sense. It also seems like a good way of adding smaller updates to this website – I don’t want to write a full post every time I have a tiny thought. It should also work as something of a notebook, allowing me to remember those tiny interesting thoughts so that I can write full posts about them when they mature.

Check the sidebar for the feed, and come say hello.

Crisis, Progress and Role-Playing

I’ve been in a bit of a crisis regarding Phenomenon 32. Even though at times I’ve been really satisified with it, now I felt that it was just too simplistic, and that it ought to be split up into two different games. I played around with Construct, creating a little demo that is about as far away from the current version of Phenomenon 32 as humanly possible. But I wasn’t satisfied with that, either, and got stuck in something of a cycle. A cycle of frustration, that is.

Today I spent some time working on the original version, and finally made some good progress. It’s still much more work than I’d like it to be – going back and re-doing everything in so much more detail has expanded the game’s content quite a bit. Which is good, I guess, but I want to finish this damn thing and get back to my film and novel. If I was better at Construct and had a good pixel artist… (Verena is a great artist, but doesn’t have a huge amount of experience at this type of graphics. She did some tests, which were quite good, but I also don’t want to burden her with this, though she has more than enough enthusiasm for it.) But, as I said, I’m not particularly great at using Construct, though I’m still better at that than at any other game maker.

Today we shall be continuing our pen-and-paper role-playing campaign. This is something that I enjoy a lot, and am fairly good at; the players are wonderful and their characters extremely eccentric. I’m not going to say anything about the story, because I’m pretty certain it will be a novel someday, but I should really post about the game mechanics and my approach to game mastering. It’s one topic where I actually feel confident that I have something useful to contribute.

I Have A Dream

Last night I dreamt that we were going to some kind of summer camp in the mountains. A bunch of famous people were going with us, including Martin Luther King, Jr. – despite the fact that even in my dream, he was dead. Malcolm X might also have been there. We were led into this big room where we were going to sleep, and shown our beds. I didn’t want to sleep in the bed next to MLK’s because I was afraid that my feet were smelly and it might be embarrassing.

Go figure.

Richard Biggs

Richard Biggs, an actor I greatly admired, died five years ago today. And I still can’t get over the feeling that that really wasn’t supposed to happen; that something went wrong in the universe. Because I think he would’ve been my ideal actor; he would’ve been perfect for my films. I feel like I’ve lost my leading man before I even got to make a single movie with him.

Sigh.

25/240

Well, today’s my birthday (and Mr. T‘s). I was going to post about all the cool presents I got (including Christopher Lee’s autobiography Lord of Misrule, An Other Cup and Star Maker) but then I read that the US Senate has voted to block the closing down of Guantanamo.

The night before the vote, Senate Democrats, led by Senate Majority leader Harry Reid, said they would block the funding and publicly broke ranks with Obama. Reid told reporters “Democrats under no circumstances will move forward without a comprehensive, responsible plan from the president. We will never allow terrorists to be released into the United States.

[…]

The Democrats’ capitulation comes after several weeks of terror baiting from top Republicans and the media. In one example, Senator John Thune from South Dakota warned, “The American people don’t want these men walking the streets of America’s neighborhoods. The American people don’t want these detainees held at a military base or federal prison in their backyard, either.

I find this so profoundly disgusting that I barely have words for it. This is evil and absurd on a level that is just stunning. How can people – and by that I mean the population, not the government – be falling for this shit? We’re talking about 240 guys, of which 200 not even the fascistoid system they’ve set up can actually put on trial. That’s how thin the accusations are. 240 people who have been imprisoned and tortured for years for crimes that they did not commit, with no legal rights whatsoever. Even if two or three of them are potential terrorists, get this:

THEY ARE NOT SUPERVILLAINS.

They’re just a bunch of people who have been abused to the breaking point. They’re not some army of invincible evil-doers that will run amok in the streets of America. (There hasn’t been a terrorist attack in the US since 2001, remember?) Who can really believe that if these guys were released into public life, they would instantly turn into civilian-killing supermonsters? Hell, even if they wanted to, how?

It’s insane, and disgusting, and comes very close to killing off my last bit of hope for America. I knew that the Democrats were spineless, but seeing the military-intelligence apparatus taking over control of the country to so little reaction is just depressing. Where are all the people now who were so enthusiastically supporting Obama and change? Why are the blogs so silent? Was all they wanted a governmental facelift? Their government is bowing to fascism right now – why aren’t people speaking up? Where is the power of the internet? Where are the so-called progressives? If you were all there for Obama, where the hell are you now?

WAKE UP, DAMN YOU!

Malcolm X Day

“I am not a racist. I am against every form of racism and segregation, every form of discrimination. I believe in human beings, and that all human beings should be respected as such, regardless of their color.” – Malcolm X

Today is the birthday of one of the bravest and most honourable men that ever walked this planet. A man whose sole belief was in freedom and justice, and whose unwavering commitment to the truth was reflected in the choices he made in his life in order to remain dedicated to that ideal. A man who always spoke his mind, even when he knew it might cost him his life – as it did.

If he was alive today, he would be celebrating his 84th birthday. As things are, he didn’t even get to be forty. And yet, in the thirty-nine years that he lived, he strode the world like a giant. At his funeral, Ossie Davis called him a prince – a shining prince. And that he was – a shining prince, not of black people, but of all people. Of humankind.

That he was murdered changed history. But that he lived, that such a man can be born at all, is something to give us hope.

And today, in his honour, we will go out and eat a banana split ice cream. Because it was his favourite, and because I think it would make him smile. And then we will, as best we can, continue the fight for equality, freedom and justice. Not as some kind of ideological abstraction, but as real and tangible conditions of human life.

See you out there.

“It is a time for martyrs now, and if I am to be one, it will be for the cause of brotherhood. That’s the only thing that can save this country.” – Malcolm X

Off to Berlin

We’re leaving tomorrow (or today, rather, if you’re into that sort of pedantry) to go visit my old friend Julian in Berlin, so no updates over the weekend.

And now a random recommendation: Hugh Laurie’s novel The Gun Seller is absolutely brilliant. Some people insist on calling it a “spoof of the thriller genre,” which I really don’t get. It is quite hilarious, of couse, but a spoof? Not really. I’m looking forward to finishing it on the train tomorrow.